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Adrienne Morris

Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock: 1 (The Chronicles of A)

Adela Arthur and the Creator's Clock - Judyann McCole With mythical creatures, magic, and conflict in spades, this book has lots to offer. Those who read a book for the story may want to give this a shot. It wasn't terrible or unreadable, and not everyone is concerned with mechanics, originality, or the style of the writing. Unfortunately, I am. I may not be adept at grammar and structure, but I can recognize what doesn't work for me. With that said, I had some issues with the style, flow, and voice.The writing style would randomly switch from informal to formal, and contained an unnatural lack of contractions. A sentence using he didn't would be followed by a sentence using he did not. The characters' speech patterns also fluctuated: I'm going. I am going...I am in the bathroom...This will not change anything.The over-reliance on adverbs weakened the story. The world building, descriptions and characters would have benefited from stronger verbs and less "eyes narrowed dangerously," or "skillfully hidden tree."The flow uneven and choppy. Short, stilted sentences such as "She had missed her two classes today. She wasn't worried about Archery," would be sandwiched between sentences with a more complex and flowing structure.I found the characters interchangeable. Without a name specifying who was speaking, they were indistinguishable. They needed more personality, and I think that could have been conveyed with well-chosen verbs and more attention paid to detail. There was so much going on in this story that it felt rushed and flat. I think this book would benefit from being split in two, giving it a chance to develop the depth I felt it lacked.Because of these issues, I wasn't able to get a feel for the author's voice. There were brief flashes of it, but it was lost in the prose's lack of polish. While Adela Arthur was too derivative of HP for me, I think fans of HP fan fiction may find they love this.